Ralphy wasn't just my uncle. He helped raise me and was more like a brother to me. He was one of the best friends I've ever had.
Ralphy was paralyzed when he was 18 and he spent the last 40 years battling health issues and the restrictions that come along with quadriplegia. He never complained or lamented about his circumstances though. In fact, he would crack jokes about it all the time. If he thought someone was being cruel to me he offer to kick them for me to cheer me up. Ralphy had a great sense of humor and especially loved British comedy. (Monty Python and Red Dwarf were our favorites)
His influence completely shaped who I am today. He would tell me stories while we played outside on the porch my grandfather built for him. We would pretend that the little hill near the forest was a Hobbit hole and he'd encourage me to search the yard for gnomes and faeries. My deep appreciation of fantasy, mythology, and history come from my time with Ralphy.
When we were trying to decide what to watch, or what video game to play or what to have for dinner Ralphy would always say, "It doesn't matter to me. Whatever you want!" Not out of apathy, but because he just wanted his visitors to be happy. We only had about three disagreements in my entire life and they were always quickly resolved. Ralphy's love was unconditional.
I lived with Ralphy until I was about 18 and when I moved into my first apartment I made sure to visit him at least once a week. Even after I had a falling out with part of the family we still stayed in contact via email and he would sign every one with "LOVE YOU VERY MUCH"
I had always planned to take care of Ralphy after my grandparents (his primary caregivers) passed away. That's why I got into childcare. I had planned to open a daycare in our home someday so I could still make a living while I cared for him. I never prepared myself for any other option. I couldn't imagine my life without Ralphy in it, and now that he's gone I feel completely lost. I know it's insane, but part of me thought that he was invincible after everything he'd been through and he would just always be there.
The people you love won't be around forever. Spend as much time with them as you can. Reach out. Call, text, email. Get over the bullshit argument you had with them. Let them know how much they mean to you before it's too late. Always part with the words, "LOVE YOU VERY MUCH."